If were are Growing, we are Always going to be out of our Comfort Zone--John Maxwell
I really like this quote! This rings true for me in so many areas of my life, in marriage, in parenting, friendships, and especially in the world of fitness!
I like to call it -Stepping outside of Crystal's Box- the problem is I'm quite comfortable in my box its safe, its understood and I'm just really quite ok there. I think this is similar on some level for many people. No matter what kind of changes you have to face good or bad, it's scary and uncomfortable--Change is Hard, Stepping outside your comfort zone is Hard!
So here's a little secret about me, maybe not to my closest friends but to the rest. I'm gregarious,(ok maybe not that part ha ha) but I really don't like all the attention on me, I'm outgoing, but I have to feel safe on my terms, I'm at times outspoken (again probably no big secret) but I have to feel really confident in what comes out of my mouth or I'm quite the opposite. I am not competitive unless I am truly confident which has not been the case in many areas of my life.
In 2008 when I decided to compete for the first time, I knew I really wanted to do it, I just knew I would really have to step outside the box!!! Yikes! I have never in my life been what I felt a competitive individual to be, or put myself in a state of competition that wasn't internal and secret to myself. I don't really know why, all I can attribute it to that I was moved all over the place my whole life and was always just trying to make new friends and fit in; I was never trying to be the best just equal and liked.. I guess when you've been to 18 schools between Kindergarten and 12th grade you just accept change, but I can tell you it never became easy, just understood.
As I became an adult I found I never wanted to strive to be the best, I just knew I wanted to be the best I could be. This was the hard part because I didn't really understand quite what this meant until honestly these past few years of my life, but as they say,better late than never I guess!
So to put myself on a stage and have a panel of judge's critique me scared the heck out of me and at that time in 2008/9 I was still so impressionable to others opinions. For many years throughout my teens and early twenties I suffered greatly with my outward identity and took on the extreme behaviors of binging and purging. It sucks let me tell ya and wrecks total havoc on the body!
But now.... I can not express enough how loving yourself is what allows us, and is necessary for love to come into our lives from all areas. I have come a long way since my teens, and even more so than ever before since my first competition. Having done three now and on my journey to my fourth I can say I am still the same woman, comfortable in her box, but knowing that when I step outside it I will grow, no matter how tough it is. I don't have to worry about the judges critiques, or what the stage presents, the opinions of others about my symmetry or my beauty. I accept its how the game is played but it is not what defines me or the love I have for myself. I will grow from this experience like all those before, but this time it is different, this time its not just about me, its about everyone that loves me just for me in whatever stage or shape I am in; It is for the growth Ill achieve physically, mentally, and above all else spiritually! I still know Ill be scared and nervous like all the times before, but the adrenaline will invigorate me, the fear will pass, and the individual sense of achievement I will feel will remind me of the benefits of Stepping Outside the Box!
No comments:
Post a Comment